For Everyone Who Has Ever Struggled With Their Appearance
I feel like one of the biggest problems we face in our daily life revolves around appearances. Everywhere we turn we are being reminded that how we look matters; we need to be a certain weight, height, have a certain hair color, facial structure, and clothing style. And even when we conform to these standards of "beauty", new standards come forth and we are still not good enough.
If you don't have issues with the way you look that is amazing! We need more people like you in our world. But unfortunately, the majority of the population has troubles seeing themselves with a healthy perspective.
I have struggled with body image myself for most of my life. Ever since I was in my early teens I noticed that I did not look quite like the girls in the magazines. I struggled with acne (still do by the way), and it was a big obstacle in my way of loving my body. It took a while before I could really look at myself and think, "dang, I look good today", or "wow, never noticed how pretty I look when my hair is up". I hated my body for a long time until I turned eighteen.
One day I got up in the morning like I did everyday, went to the bathroom and began my daily routine. I looked in the mirror and instantly started to see all of my imperfections. I had so many complaints concerning my skin and body weight. I then went to work at trying to hide my imperfections and while I was doing that, my mind began to wonder like minds often do. I started to think about my reflection in the mirror and laughed at the thought of there being an actual person staring back at me.... Then is hit me! The one thing that changed my perspective on my appearance.
That girl in the mirror was an actual person; she was me. My whole life I had been taught that I should only say kind words about others and their appearances. I had been taught that people were worth loving and that I needed to treat them with the respect they deserved. I felt so stupid when I realized that there was one person in my life that I had not been treating with the respect she deserved... Me! I had been thinking of myself as an object in terms of fixing and repairing in order to arrive at complete perfection. In reality, I was an imperfect human being and I needed to stop pretending that I was not allowed to have flaws. Why can I give everyone else in the world a pass when it comes to their imperfections but I can't give myself one. In short, I was not treating myself like I would treat any other human being, I was treating myself as less than human.
Recently I have also made another observation in terms of looks. One morning I woke up late and had to rush in order to get to class on time. I did not bother to put my make-up on or do anything more than a ponytail for my hair. I got dressed, brushed my teeth, and ran to class. I had a busy schedule that day and only went home to pick something up real quick or to get ready for work. When I finished my day and came home I looked in the mirror and gasped thinking, "Did I really go my entire day looking like this?" I wondered why no one had said anything to me or made a comment on my appearance... Than it hit me, no one cares what I look like! No one treated me differently because I did not look my best, they saw me for who I was, a human being who deserved their respect. Bottom line is no one thinks about what you can do to change your looks, you are the only person who cares about that. Just as long as you shower and follow proper hygiene care, no one really cares whether you have acne or extra weight in your face.
Now time for the fun part, what can we do to help ourselves when it comes to positive self -image?
1. Stop looking in the mirror
Now I get that you need a mirror sometimes, but I feel that our world spends way to much time obsessing about how they look in the mirror. If you often look at yourself in the mirror and only have bad thoughts come to mind, consider going on a mirror fast. Try to look in the mirror as little as possible for a week or two and take note on how much better you feel about yourself. Eventually you will need to face the mirror again in order to love your body, but if you are having major image problems you should just take a break.
2. Notice all the things your body CAN do
We often focus so much on how our body looks that we hardly stop to think about what our body does for us on a daily bases. I stopped for a moment and made a list of how my body works for me every day. 1. My body takes me from place to place. 2. My body holds and processes all the wonderful food I like to eat. 3. My body allows me to communicate with the people I love. 4. My body allows me to do all the activities I love, like singing, camping, swimming, laughing, walking, or writing. These are just some of the amazing things that my body lets me do. The more me focus on what our body can do the more we will grow to love it.
3. Stop comparing yourself to others
You are never going to look like Gal Gadot or Chris Hemsworth! It is just not going to happen! They have completely different body types and features from you and that is okay. The funny thing about attraction is that there is no "one size fits all" like everyone would like you to believe. Not everyone finds the same people attractive and that is the way things are supposed to be. So stop comparing yourself to people who resemble society's standard of beauty because you don't need to meet that standard. Someone is going to find you attractive, do not worry about that.
4. Focus on your achievements
I find that the best way to combat self-hatred is to take a look at some of the amazing things you have done. I always think back to publishing my first book on Amazon and how cool everyone thought that was. I also think about the things I am doing right now. For instance, I am working on a research paper about Photoshop and the links it has to eating disorders. I am passionate about this topic and my professor and classmates are all excited to see my finished product as well. Our accomplishments do not have to be big; they can be little things like getting an A on a school project, preforming a talent in public, or even painting a room. Anything that shows our skills or knowledge and highlights it in a good way can help us to see how cool we really are and start to love ourselves more for who we are rather than what we look like.
5. Pick something you like about yourself
Look at your body and pick something that you do find attractive. This can be anything! I once had a women tell me that she loved the way he ankles looked. I personally love my eyes, but this can be anything. If you are struggling to find something ask someone who loves you! Ask a friend or a family member what your best feature is. If you explain that it is to help promote a positive self-image I am sure that they will help you figure it out. Anyways, if you have at least one things you like about yourself you can always go back to it and think about it on those days that you are not particularly in love with the rest of your body.
6. Do something about it
My final tip is not to put down everything else we just talked about by changing our appearances, but to add on to it. A lot of times our hatred for our bodies can stem from something we can change. If you hate your hair, go and get something done with it! I once was having trouble with my body image and solved it by getting a new hair cut. You can do anything you want to help improve your body. Go and get your teeth whitened, buy new clothes, get a tan, or a manicure or whatever! Sometimes your looks are just not displayed in a proper way. If you want to look better you might consider going to a professional in order to up your appearance. There are a lot of hair, make-up, clothing, and other specialists that can help you. One of the most important parts about loving yourself is realizing that you are worth the effort it takes to better yourself. Just make sure that if you do make changes you are doing it for yourself and not for anyone else. If your crush needs you to change your appearance in order to like you, than they are not worth your effort.
I hope that these tips are helpful. I also know the struggle of body image and I hope to help others by sharing the things that I have learned. Not to many people know that they are a person worth so much more that just their looks. If you can find ways to realize all the awesome things that make you special than your looks will not bother you as much.
Please share this post! I am going to do one post a week with tips on how to overcome a certain daily struggle. Please send me topic suggestions because I want to make posts based on what is going to help you! I will do my research and I will get you help.
Sincerely,
Someone Who Cares
If you don't have issues with the way you look that is amazing! We need more people like you in our world. But unfortunately, the majority of the population has troubles seeing themselves with a healthy perspective.
I have struggled with body image myself for most of my life. Ever since I was in my early teens I noticed that I did not look quite like the girls in the magazines. I struggled with acne (still do by the way), and it was a big obstacle in my way of loving my body. It took a while before I could really look at myself and think, "dang, I look good today", or "wow, never noticed how pretty I look when my hair is up". I hated my body for a long time until I turned eighteen.
One day I got up in the morning like I did everyday, went to the bathroom and began my daily routine. I looked in the mirror and instantly started to see all of my imperfections. I had so many complaints concerning my skin and body weight. I then went to work at trying to hide my imperfections and while I was doing that, my mind began to wonder like minds often do. I started to think about my reflection in the mirror and laughed at the thought of there being an actual person staring back at me.... Then is hit me! The one thing that changed my perspective on my appearance.
That girl in the mirror was an actual person; she was me. My whole life I had been taught that I should only say kind words about others and their appearances. I had been taught that people were worth loving and that I needed to treat them with the respect they deserved. I felt so stupid when I realized that there was one person in my life that I had not been treating with the respect she deserved... Me! I had been thinking of myself as an object in terms of fixing and repairing in order to arrive at complete perfection. In reality, I was an imperfect human being and I needed to stop pretending that I was not allowed to have flaws. Why can I give everyone else in the world a pass when it comes to their imperfections but I can't give myself one. In short, I was not treating myself like I would treat any other human being, I was treating myself as less than human.
Recently I have also made another observation in terms of looks. One morning I woke up late and had to rush in order to get to class on time. I did not bother to put my make-up on or do anything more than a ponytail for my hair. I got dressed, brushed my teeth, and ran to class. I had a busy schedule that day and only went home to pick something up real quick or to get ready for work. When I finished my day and came home I looked in the mirror and gasped thinking, "Did I really go my entire day looking like this?" I wondered why no one had said anything to me or made a comment on my appearance... Than it hit me, no one cares what I look like! No one treated me differently because I did not look my best, they saw me for who I was, a human being who deserved their respect. Bottom line is no one thinks about what you can do to change your looks, you are the only person who cares about that. Just as long as you shower and follow proper hygiene care, no one really cares whether you have acne or extra weight in your face.
Now time for the fun part, what can we do to help ourselves when it comes to positive self -image?
1. Stop looking in the mirror
Now I get that you need a mirror sometimes, but I feel that our world spends way to much time obsessing about how they look in the mirror. If you often look at yourself in the mirror and only have bad thoughts come to mind, consider going on a mirror fast. Try to look in the mirror as little as possible for a week or two and take note on how much better you feel about yourself. Eventually you will need to face the mirror again in order to love your body, but if you are having major image problems you should just take a break.
2. Notice all the things your body CAN do
We often focus so much on how our body looks that we hardly stop to think about what our body does for us on a daily bases. I stopped for a moment and made a list of how my body works for me every day. 1. My body takes me from place to place. 2. My body holds and processes all the wonderful food I like to eat. 3. My body allows me to communicate with the people I love. 4. My body allows me to do all the activities I love, like singing, camping, swimming, laughing, walking, or writing. These are just some of the amazing things that my body lets me do. The more me focus on what our body can do the more we will grow to love it.
3. Stop comparing yourself to others
You are never going to look like Gal Gadot or Chris Hemsworth! It is just not going to happen! They have completely different body types and features from you and that is okay. The funny thing about attraction is that there is no "one size fits all" like everyone would like you to believe. Not everyone finds the same people attractive and that is the way things are supposed to be. So stop comparing yourself to people who resemble society's standard of beauty because you don't need to meet that standard. Someone is going to find you attractive, do not worry about that.
4. Focus on your achievements
I find that the best way to combat self-hatred is to take a look at some of the amazing things you have done. I always think back to publishing my first book on Amazon and how cool everyone thought that was. I also think about the things I am doing right now. For instance, I am working on a research paper about Photoshop and the links it has to eating disorders. I am passionate about this topic and my professor and classmates are all excited to see my finished product as well. Our accomplishments do not have to be big; they can be little things like getting an A on a school project, preforming a talent in public, or even painting a room. Anything that shows our skills or knowledge and highlights it in a good way can help us to see how cool we really are and start to love ourselves more for who we are rather than what we look like.
5. Pick something you like about yourself
Look at your body and pick something that you do find attractive. This can be anything! I once had a women tell me that she loved the way he ankles looked. I personally love my eyes, but this can be anything. If you are struggling to find something ask someone who loves you! Ask a friend or a family member what your best feature is. If you explain that it is to help promote a positive self-image I am sure that they will help you figure it out. Anyways, if you have at least one things you like about yourself you can always go back to it and think about it on those days that you are not particularly in love with the rest of your body.
6. Do something about it
My final tip is not to put down everything else we just talked about by changing our appearances, but to add on to it. A lot of times our hatred for our bodies can stem from something we can change. If you hate your hair, go and get something done with it! I once was having trouble with my body image and solved it by getting a new hair cut. You can do anything you want to help improve your body. Go and get your teeth whitened, buy new clothes, get a tan, or a manicure or whatever! Sometimes your looks are just not displayed in a proper way. If you want to look better you might consider going to a professional in order to up your appearance. There are a lot of hair, make-up, clothing, and other specialists that can help you. One of the most important parts about loving yourself is realizing that you are worth the effort it takes to better yourself. Just make sure that if you do make changes you are doing it for yourself and not for anyone else. If your crush needs you to change your appearance in order to like you, than they are not worth your effort.
I hope that these tips are helpful. I also know the struggle of body image and I hope to help others by sharing the things that I have learned. Not to many people know that they are a person worth so much more that just their looks. If you can find ways to realize all the awesome things that make you special than your looks will not bother you as much.
Please share this post! I am going to do one post a week with tips on how to overcome a certain daily struggle. Please send me topic suggestions because I want to make posts based on what is going to help you! I will do my research and I will get you help.
Sincerely,
Someone Who Cares
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